Next level

I've opened a new chapter!
Day 3 of Orientation week for the international students. :D

Generally: 
How am I feeling? Honestly, I still couldn't find a description. But I definitely feel like a young adult. hahah. After years living in a condition with a helper at home, I am finally on my own. Now, THAT'S NEW!

Yes, I've been pampered.

Roomies:
I share a room with 3 other Wak Tanjong Students taking Arabic Language, Law and Education. They have been helpful. I'm still trying my best to adapt to them and all. Our room behaves well. In fact we have already inspired a student to clean up her room. haha.

I pray for a better future, cooperation and stay with residences of room 4.6

University:
Duh, it's big. I'm still grasping the fact that THIS is my University. My School. Where I will be spending my next 4-5 years or so.

Pray Well for me! :D

patience is the key to everything.

I'm a weakling.
I need to always remind myself where my place is, down on the ground.

I have always been lack of patience and tolerance. Because of this disadvantage, things around turns harder. It's harder for me to change, it's harder for me to accept changes, it's harder for me to keep it calm. I will retaliate, rebel and turn into a Monster. I'm rude and despicable.

I can't listen to others and will be too absorb to myself.
I'll turn very ugly and egoistic.
I'll be unsuccessful.

Patience is the key to everything..

I don't have any.

I should be thankful that was I was being born.

We need to learn to be grateful.

Watching those drama always turns me into this greedy love-attention-seeker-monster. The truth is, what the cast have we have it too, in fact it could have been better. It's just us, as an individual. We are never grateful and blind by these craves and wants.

We got the looks that they have but we never display is cause we think we're "too good for it"
We got the attention that they have but we would ignore it.
We got the fame that they have but we never wanted it.
We got the cash that they have but we never save it.

Humans can never be satisfied with what they have.
Cause they don't appreciate it.

- a self reminder.

Drama and Life

I have always been a bad writer. I can never make a brilliant sentence or paragraph. Although life can be cliche but it's deep and meaningful.. It's just a pity that not many can see or feel it.

I'm fine sitting at home for a long period of time but I don't prefer it at all. I'll turn lazy, slightly emotionally and wander through my thoughts. I'll think about life, about myself, about my family and friends and sometimes it hurts. Deep down inside, I am waiting. Waiting for something I'm not sure of.

I watch too much drama. I expect reality to turn into drama. I see and observe other people's life. "Why are their life such a drama and mine seems so bleak and plain?" Well that's the thing, my life is a drama of its own only I don't appreciate it. Somewhere out there, someone else is asking themselves about my drama.

Life doesn't chase for Drama.

Drama chases Life..

Hari Raya

Before heading the big U word, maybe I should hang out with some of my friends for Hari Raya. And we did! :D Alhamdulillah for 2 awesome days. 

Hari Raya With Friends Day 1: 

Meet the who we called, "Si Belings". 

These are the gangs who have been with me for 2 important years staying up all night long during tests, CAs, projects,  researches and exams. When no one was around to stay up with me and help me out, they will always be there. I couldnt thank them enough for unleashing the study potential in me. I've never been the brightest student but I work hard with their motivation and support. Once again, Thank you guys. :D 

We went around with 2 cars and a motor. Since we had exam space in one of the cars, it was time to send the motor home. This is where all the experiments begins. We swapped car and passangers here and there. Loud sing alongs, bad drivings and 2 kerat pantun everywhere. Thanks to Whatsapp Audio Notes and group chat was like a walkie talkie. "We masok AYE already!!!!" 

It was a great night with birthday surprises, nice food and great laughs. 

Hari Raya With Friends Day 2: 

My girls since Secondary 1. We are now all over the world and we are university students. Since it summer break for them, we are gathered once again but not a complete amount. Nevertheless, it was still a warm one. 

A game of charades, frontal bickering with apologies at the end, on going conjuring comments and hilarious stories. I had a funny occurrence! 

My story: It was dark in the bus and we just finished a game of charade after plenty of nonsense going on. Suddenly as I got up to alight I felt something grabbing below me. It felt extra windy below. I was pulling something below. "What on earth is this?" When I look down, I was so shocked to see.. my kain fell already! Thank god I had an inner inside. Sha and Fifi was laughing to hard and we didn't had time to react and pull it up. :'D

Well it was good at the end. Settled at Sha's place and checked out our home video from last year graduation photoshoot. The day when Diyana shared with us her wedding news. And oh my, Sha's mom remark was true. We did grew big. Everybody seems extra "happy" We put on meat. :D 

Well, five more days and I'm in guys. 

Honestly: Not looking forward to it. 

secret lesson in progress.

Back with a new experience! A burning experience! :D

It was the time of the month and here comes my cycle. This time round, the pain was unbearable. I lost appetite and felt numb the whole body. The little kids were nice enough to help me out. I got myself some boiling hot water to calm the cramps now. Guess what?

WORST IDEA EVER,

It was so hot that it is still burning with cloth. I was dapping when the cap from the tumblr accidentally opened and spilled all the hot water on me. I could barely move. I thought it was nothing when it hit me that I couldnt move. In agony, I cried silently until my dad had to carry me to bed. I was sent to A&E for a horrible experience.

Well, I learn that I got ZERO tolerance for pain. Had it checked up and was glad that I do not need to get admitted. So right now, I'm like a preggie. really. I can barely move cause I fear I might burst the bubbles. Yupp, I'm cooking skin right now. It's like an episode of alien vs terminator.

Been lying down for 2 days already. The family have been very helpful. I guess no matter how faithful your friends are, your family will never leave you alone. Mama popped in the questions, "Where's your friends?"

I'm left speechlesss.

that feeling cause I'm being

Cause I'm pretending right now when I am not okay.
I am curious and I do wish an explanation could make it better.
But it will be just a little to late for that.

"Was I worth getting ignored?"

Shattered. Who am I?

you just need to wake up

Tonight, I ask myself. Why do I keep wanting to be this and that but never work or make an effort for it? Why do I dream this and that but never burn the midnight oil to reach for it? For me to get there, I need to get up and move, I need to work hard and start something. But look where am I now? No where. 

Human. I'm such an ordinary human. 
When will I be extrodinary at least for me, for myself. Wake up Shazaa, it's time for an upgrade. 
Be it your deen, your knowledge or your physical.

Well that's one. 

Here's another:  

It's never gonna happen my dear self. Not in a million years. 

There's a limit to everything you do and what you say. Take good care of yourself this time round cause some things are just meant to keep it to yourself. 

Somethings are meant to be quiet, to be silence, to be isolate and to be island.  

Just keep look forward for a smile cause you deserve it. :) 

Fast prep.

I'm cleaning up my Mac cause the hard disk is about to die. Bloated with Shazaa junkies!
Then I saw this.. I've always love this picture for some reason. The colors, the faces, the ambience. But not everyone like this picture and.. I can still vividly remember this.

Well, as you can see Hari Raya is coming down!
&& It's a new experience for me. I've been in charge financially for my sister. Ever since I start working, my parents are hands down on my monthly expenses. It's okay, I hope they have something on mind.

Finally, I headed Geylang with Shifa and a little special appearance of Sharifah Nabilah, Mail and Farhanah. Couldn't thank them enough for saving us. We were awkwardly wondering around Geylang. It's better than anything! Bought few Raya materials and hang around the Bazaar for food.