where was I?

"i dont care abt tt, what if i just tell you tt i need you? to help me be strong, remind me of the stuffs needed to remember, study with me again, excell with me like how we used to, Help me choose the right path the right decision like how u did back at 2010"

sense to make

Things havent been making sense lately,

It all started with: Me.

I'm ignorant. I couldnt careless. I am like a heartless breed with no soul and heart.

Am I happy? I am grateful that I'm alive. But this heartless breed with no soul and heart is turning me upside down.

I'm glad I am closest to the warmest and friendliest person in school.

If it wasnt for her, I'm as cold as ice. She knows the potential in me and she knows the icy part of me. But her equation right now for me, not much of a result.

On the other hand, I got another person who is always hurt by my cold. I maybe be a mess but I dont like to see other caught up in my mess. I'm a pusher. I push. I do wish you wont get tangled, cause I can't bare to see you get hurt. I no longer want to be the reason you're always upset cause lately, I can no longer make you happy. When was the last time I made you smile.

I have to learn how to be kind. I have to learn to be warm. I feel like I dont know how to care, I dont know how to comfort. I dont know how to give you a gentle touch to serene you. For others, its as simply as abc, but for me its a large Einstein equation for me.

Hi.

I'm ridiculous. I'm complicated. I'm selfish.

Sport, we unite.

It's finally over. It's kinda fast dont you think so.

And what's new? My face. Burned. Thank to who?

Le Sun during IMG.

My march holiday started brilliantly. My mind was transparent as you know what I wanted each time. :D A whole day spent splendidly. An adventure of our own. I liked when the night finally arrived as we strolled around the food court getting lost and ended up getting a drink at MCD. Slept over at Q's and we were ready for Day Two IMG; Netball.

The JIMPSTERS DID AWESOME FOR NETBALL AND CAPTAINBALL. We managed to get Gold for Captainball both Jr and Sr but I guess it wasnt our luck for Netball. The juniors managed to get third whereas the seniors got fourth.

---

I decided to came down for Futsal and helped out with what can be helped. Juniors was my group to motivate and cheer upon. They did superb well. I nearly burst into tears seeing them fight in the Cage.

"Once a JIMPSTER, always a JIMPSTER"

Team Junior: Gold Captainball. The Only All Win Team.

Team Senior: Gold Captainball. The Fighters.

IMG was an experience. This year was different. The students really tired their best to win the sportmanship and avoid all unnecessary arguments and fight. We even protected and defend each other when someone came to insult one another. :D Most of the school loved Aljunied's Cheer. :D Na Na Na Na ~

My Job here is done. The girls manage to learn something about themselves and about believing. They got what they wanted. I've guide myself and them too through out the journey. I learnt something no classroom can teach me. It made me stronger and wiser too. I could have not learn those without the JIMPSTERS help and also without Kak Nisa's wisdom and experience.

mmhm.

The past week was a tough week. Indeed a free ride of The Reality of Roller Coaster.

But Alhamdulillah, I got family and friends who manage to pull me through and help me out along the way. Finally, CA WEEK A.K.A POST EXAM = DONE!

Good thing: March Holiday is Here! Time for a break.

Not So Good thing: IMG heat is on! Are we ready? You'll see.

Starting of March holiday seems to be going fine. Monday is the starting of the holiday, right?

friday,

Still waiting.

It was a try out. It did bring some benefits didnt it?

I learn that you will always be there,

"cause she's like a sunshine, everything brightens up when she's around"

Still am.

It's stay home Saturday the day before.

Plenty of work to finish up and YAY! Complete most them. Well, I had to.

There was a party going on at the Woodlands Stadium. A Must Go Party. :D

The stage were rocking it away with wacky hosts, direct to the point khutbahs, cute kids and melodious Qasidah and Nasyids. A Job Well Done 7 Hours. Didn't even saw the time ticking away. ^^

---

"Text to Sister"

I saw it. You told my little to be strong and not portrait any sign of weakness.

I miss that part of You. You've always been strong and even share with other that strength of yours. But when I'm around, you lost that strength didnt you?

I'm killing you,

Staying home obediently today. Had KFC for breakfast with Mama before she headed for work. Catched up as she left. Stayed home and have been on the Mac since.

Will be heading Kallang soon for Netball. The girls spirit are really pushing me harder and harder. I am determined now. I shall inspire and motivate them through their passion. I hope they will apply them in their daily life as well.

Taught me a little something. Maybe I'll try to apply it.

Afterall I'm a bad listener, always excited.

I like speed.

A formula I saw:

You = Sad > Me = Sad

Me = Trying to be strong and not be sad = looks like I dont care when I do.

I cant join the the cruise of sadness as well. I'm losing my confidence and my esteem gradually and I cant let that happen. I need them for myself, for my friends. It getting insane lately. I dont even know what I'm doing anymore. Have I lost my control?

what if..

I've always love elephants especially the plushie ones. :D

They're just too cute and deserve a hug.

CA week (or should I say weeks) are here. It's crazy cause they arent really tests. More like exams cause they're modular subjects. No exams just common test. Can. Die. Have been squuezing my brain juice to the extend that I've ran out of juice.

Conclusion: Sick Girl blogging away.

Well, I have been tired physcially, mentally and emotionally. Just ptaying for the better right now, Insyallah.

I'm sorry I can't be who I use to be.

Barely a shine to the sun.