Nature rewards.

Cause it's blog time! :D

Last week, on the 13th right after my finals we went on a road trip! AHHHHHH! :D Syafiq was kind enough to be a daddy and drove us to Cameron Highlands, Pahang. Brothers and Sisters, EMBRACE THE AWESOMENESS OF NATURE! Masyallah! Subhanallah and Allahuakbar! 

IT WAS THE PRETTIEST PLACE TO PLAY OMBAK RINDU REWIND! 

They got a nice view to play tea party, a breezy weather to pretend you're in Switzerland or New Zealand and you can do all sorts of distressing activities there. You name it! I did strawberry plucking, picking? Then I check out butterflies and eek-ed on inserts and frogs, I screamed using my diaphragm on a mountain. (ooooooh~) Dance alone at an open space, laughed at and with my friends and had a mini roller coaster ride. It was a mini innocent party for this clan! It was a pity that we had to rely on phone cameras and only to phone cams. AWWWW! 

Alhamdulillah for the opportunity. So here you go.. PICTURES! :D 

lots of love, 

S. 

Jinnyboy tv.

I know it's sappy and cheesy, but hey you need cheesy and sappy in life to be thrilled and exciting.

Hahaha. Self Theory: Fail. :D

Watching Conversation over Coffee makes me feel all softy inside cause it feel so close to dreaming.
Being in a cafe, hoping something to happen.

hopelessly anticipating.

lots of love,

S.

"Toffee is Coffee with a T"

An official week of 2014. 

Welcome new year. 

I just had an amazing lunch with some of my awesome bunch. It has been nearly a month since I last see them. There wasn't much of catching up but more of appreciation of each other's existence. I love that the fact that all of us are different in our own way but yet we compliment each other. 

Meet the Regime people. 

Here's the story of us: 

All of us were what they call fresh meat or greenies for theatre, but we had good chemistry and bond with each other. Even our seniors were shocked to see "No Drama" during the whole training. Slowly, we developed a strong bond and got to know each other and slowly have each other's back. Our dinners and lunch were always filled with good and happy times and when someone is sad, we'll do something to work it out. Whatever it is, when I'm with them I feel so.. real. So Me. 

but maybe we're still new, still in the process of knowing each other. 

I hope for a good future with these companies Insyallah. I'll still pray for them no matter what cause they've helped me (alot) during my stay here.

Coming up next:
A trip to Cameron Highs Insyallah. :D

Lots of love,
S. 

slight effort is better than no effort.

Alhamdulillah, I'm grateful that I have roommates who  have been very supporting and motivating in so many ways. They will ensure my rough and lonely time here is colored with joy, care and mutual concern and love. We are all away from our families, stranded in a new environment still struggling, still coping and still finding. 

I thought my first few months will be tough but with finals around, it got tougher. 

I am merely giving up. 

But I choose not to. Cause giving up is a sign of weakness and I will not admit defeat and weak. This place had done enough trashing my confidence and making me lose my touch of who I am or who I thought I was. It has done good in new realization but I struggle. It's okay, I know I'll be appreciative of this institution and send my gratitude for teaching me hardship and struggle. 

As for now, all I can do is remain positive and held my head high up. 

Learn from mistake, work on it and don't repeat it. 

Or else, fool on you Shazaa. 

lots of love, 

S. 

welcome back!

It has been a long time since I've took my time to write.
Who am I kidding, I got time only I'm not making full use of it. I'm either real busy, distracted or mopping around watching videos. I'm tellin ya, media is killing me. Big time!
Haha, but it's okay cause only death can slap you awake right?

There's so many things to tell, so many feelings to rant. But there's this virus called the lazy-rus that is "keeping down" my pace. Well enough with the negativity.

Here's some light up!

My university friends have been lovely and rather supporting. I haven't had the best first semester. There's plenty of struggles going on and I've been rather messy. But they have always been there 24 hours for me and I'm telling you, TWENTY FOUR HOURS. Call, text them anytime, any day and there will always be there to give our a hearing aid. So as for now, my friends are my university highlights. I love you guys, thanks for always having my back! :)

That is all for now.

lots of love,
Shazaa.

because writing isn't my forte

Back in Singapore again! This time round, I guess I spent it wisely. :)

The week before was chaotic. 2 Mid terms and things just doesn't seem to fall into places. But Alhamdulillah, I have always believe that patience is time. You have to slowly hang in there and keep going no matter how long you are going to be. The point is, you make an effort and the result will based on what you have put into it. I've been having wrong intentions with my studying but sincerity never comes easy. Apparently, you still need to work hard for it.

Apart from my tulang belakangsss, Regime theatre band have been a great help letting myself loose and forget about worrying and thinking straight. Sometimes you just need to let yourself go, set your wings and fly. Honey, it ain't that easy that I expected. Makes me wanna take up yoga for future purposes. 23 more days til show time!

Tulang belakangs (a.k.a Nurul' Ain Nabilah and Humairah Jays) have been lovely during my uni stays. Always there for lunch, always there to lend some hearing aid, always there to offer academic, physical and spiritual aid when needed. I couldn't thank them enough for always being there. Syukran Ya Allah for sending them over as a wasilah for me to be closer to you and always remind me of you. I am a weak servant of yours, I need to always remember that and be aware of them.

Saying Special Hi *waves* to Syir, Faatinah, Najiiiiib and Naziz for always accompanying me around to study and just appearing alot lately these days! Hahah.

this should be a bright one posting

I don't want to be like any other anyone from where I came from.
At the same time, I don't want to be lost. I want to know who I am. I want to stand firm with who I am and stay solid with my own principles and stand. At least I look strong, prim and proper. At the outside at least.

But as for now,
I think I know who I am.

What's going on? What am I missing?

again, another soul searching problem.
a missing soul, missing identity or maybe a wannabe?



Why can't I just be grateful and
slowly pick up and start from there?

Travel list!

I've always wanted to see the world so I did a little homework about it.
Here are the places I would love to do.

1. Check out the clear water and play with the currents at The Phi Phi Island, Thailand.

2. Enjoy a nice camel ride around Petra, Jordan

3. Check out the sunset around Santorini, Greece

I'll update more and list up more places to go! :D

welcome home

Eid Mubarak everybody!

My Eid was simple. There was food, laughters, old folk stories and just love. Shaheed had to go back to camp that night and it was nice. The day ended with everybody exchanging hugs and comparing laughter during the dinner. :)

But mama popped in a question, "Shazaa, where did you get your mentel trait from?" haha. Bee Bam! Bonus question. But she wasn't the first to ask me that. That question has been lingering in my mind since. It seems rather petty isn't it? It won't affect the whole nation nor would it change my life. Will it? Somehow, deep down, it's a huge question for me. An answer I desperately want to know.


Moving on!
I'm almost there with my school work. I'm left with some arabic reading (which I terrible dread doing it) and a script to memorize. I'm anticipating for school, more events to happen and more people to know. But I have to keep reminding myself.. "patience is a type of courage"


Hang in there Shazaa,


keep in checkin'
S.

7D

It's mid term break! 

I didn't know that it was gonna be fast. :D But well like any other typical schools, they won't let us chill. But I'm grateful I only have 3 assignments and a mid term this break, Mai got 9 assignments in line for her. You can spelled out crazy out loud now. 

The week before the break was too pronto! My roommates got worried seeing how exhausted I am. I guess I'm one of those lucky ones being blessed with awesome and caring room mates. Always there to cheer me up, enlighten my spirit and make sure I am always well during my days. Although I'm a big bully, they never fail to laugh with me, at me and along with me. My top ups for positive vibes. At the same time, I learn something about myself. I am indeed workaholic. haha! It's just that if I'm in my momentum, I'm all out for it. Sincerity, passion and perseverance is there. 

Well then again, Eid is coming! :D 

keep on checkin'

S. 

a detour to learn

It's human nature to be negative but it's also human nature to remain positive. It's just a matter of choice.  I'm bummed and tired right now. I haven't been getting enough sleep and always trying to steal naps during lunch.

But all I'm going to say is, Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah to let all the positive vibes through out my body. Take a nice nap and some smoothing therapy. I shouldn't be giving up and stay strong and keep going. So here's my lesson learnt:

1. DO NOT Procrastinate.
2. Read with sincerity and ask if you don't understand. You got awesome seniors around you girl!
3. Never underestimate and judge your peers cause they are wonderful in their own way.

University life is starting to catch up. I'm still learning this and that but it's going good.
Apart from that.. I got myself a role as a minor poet in a theatre act called Regime! So we've been breathing with our tummy instead of our shoulder. haha. :D So there you go mama baba, I'm slowly exploring the University instead of chilling at HS! (a place where you can find any Singaporeans students you want)

October the first.

Inhaling and Exhaling is needed here today for me. A new beginning for a new month! :D 

1. Idlan was nice enough to invite me to try out for Regime, a poetry play happening on the 26 of Nov. I had no intention to try out any role but decided to give it a go. To challenge myself. Pulled Ilya and Ayu to it as well and we did it! :D As we enter the room, our head was zoned out. My practice was worthless. Haha. It wasn't that bad. I was too absorb with Idlan's stories to focus for my audition so I think my audition was rather chilled as I spent my time talking to the director and stage manager more than focus on the thing. 

Afterwards, we spent two hours going through Idlan's brilliant stories and mind and start talking about our passion for real creative stories. I can never be anywhere close to his ideas or Ilya's. 

2. Aida Azlin replied my fb msg! 

Here's the part where I should be fan girling. 

I've always love the work of the114. I found her blog and started reading slowly. Her words are beautiful and inspiring. It's like I see a new angle of life, a new perspective of Islam. Something so simple and sweet. I've never felt so connected to anyone before and I think I found myself another role model, a mentor, a big sister. 

Still star strucked. 

to end september

Murtad: Menuju Tuhan.
A story about 3 different individuals in search for the strength of iman by their very own problem. Was leaving the religion the solution to all the problems? Where are all the muslims when other muslims are in need? Are we the reason for the misinterpretation of our own religion?

It's a Charity Theatre by the Aikolians to gather some money for 2 orphanage in conjunction to their fest this week. The story was simple, predictable but it was splendid! The crew really pulled it off making the whole show smooth and entertaining.

Congratulations Crew members and Theatre casts!
You did a great job. :D

This is me

I happen to be one of those madrasah students who spent her days (in facts years) in the most secure environment to develop and become a better Muslim for the society. I took it for granted. I'm ngelecting my duty and wish for something that I don't have when I should be grateful for what I have. 

 "be grateful and Allah will give you more" 

 If I'm blurry I should wear glasses and if I'm lost I should ask for direction. 
Neither am I doing anything. I'm not here to whin what a terrible Muslim I am but this is gonna be a prove that I will change for the better. I've been soul searching for quite a period of time but the same answer to my quest will always remain the same. I didn't want to accept it.  

 Today, I've seen the beauty.  

Oh Allah, I'm weak cause I'm your servant. Guide me ila siratul mustaqim and protect me along my journey to find my soul. Amin. 

first real theatre night

It has been a month already since I've labelled myself as a student of IIUM. Alhamdulillah I'm making new friends and building a new environment. Anticipating for new adventures and new things to learn. Hello strangers, I can't wait to experience new things from you. :)

Last night my seniors took me out for some shopping, dip n dip and a regional theatre to fill up my Saturday. Two cars with great company. We had out own mini adventure from genius highway U turns to dark alleys that reached us to a road into the Chinese cemetery. The theatre show called Donad and Gula Gula was a good one. From what I understand it was about woman exploitation in a creative way. Along the lines, along the scenes. Great job Aizat!

I foresee more to come but I hope my adventure shall expand beyond my wonders and make me grow. I'm waiting for you adventures. I hope to see you soon. :D

departure terminal one

I will never ever ever cry again like that in public. Ever again!
The JDs a.k.a Jordanians are settling down in their new place. I wish the best and pray well for them. Although I wish I could see how miserable they are, missing all of us here. Cause I miss them badly.

This weekend, I spent most of my weekend with Haasyim cause the both of us are having our own hard time with the departure. I appreciate it alot and thank you for being there and hearing our the rants. Not just him, but almost Meng and Aisyah for sacrificing their last Sept hols and risking it for me. Felt alot better! ^^

Few hours after the departure, Mama left for Chicago. At the very same terminal and same departure gate. The departure of my dear friends kept rewinding again and again. The sorrow, the happiness all jumble into one.

14 September 2013.
That was a meaningful date. It was a date to remind me that all my friends are growing up and heading their own paths and journeys. It was also the date where we gathered and reunite. It was good seeing those familiar faces. A safe and secure feeling.

Never bid good bye cause I'll see you guys soon. :)

home town

If it was still hari raya (it still is right?) I would be singing Balik Kampung yesterday. haha. Yes, I'm back in Singapore. I would like to dedicate my return to one of my best seniors who will be getting married this coming weekend! Definitely excited for her!

Here's another dedication:

I never get to properly thank my awesome and amazingly lovely bestfriend for helping me out with my first day of Uni. She even stayed to help mama out preparing and cleaning my room! I had to rush for Orientation so I had to miss out. I owe you one Ain! :*

I'll admit. I'm a K-fan. It should be okay right? :D Here's some K-people we met during medical check up. Together with our new oppas-sunbaes, we were creating a mini party in the clinic. See that girl at the far end in white? She's half turkish half chinese, speaks fluent chinese. :D And the pretty girl at the back? She's a Malaysian with an indon accent. One of the prettiest girls around.

Adila is back from Mesir after a year and we finally get to hang out as Fantastic Four! It was Ban Mian catch ups and movie marathon @ Hasanah's. Well we end up stealing naps. Apparently everyone was exhausted! But here's an achievement: I've watched The Conjuring. It was slightly disappointment though but it was okay. :B

P.S.
I miss my whole floor mates. Level 4 blk F.

Next level

I've opened a new chapter!
Day 3 of Orientation week for the international students. :D

Generally: 
How am I feeling? Honestly, I still couldn't find a description. But I definitely feel like a young adult. hahah. After years living in a condition with a helper at home, I am finally on my own. Now, THAT'S NEW!

Yes, I've been pampered.

Roomies:
I share a room with 3 other Wak Tanjong Students taking Arabic Language, Law and Education. They have been helpful. I'm still trying my best to adapt to them and all. Our room behaves well. In fact we have already inspired a student to clean up her room. haha.

I pray for a better future, cooperation and stay with residences of room 4.6

University:
Duh, it's big. I'm still grasping the fact that THIS is my University. My School. Where I will be spending my next 4-5 years or so.

Pray Well for me! :D

patience is the key to everything.

I'm a weakling.
I need to always remind myself where my place is, down on the ground.

I have always been lack of patience and tolerance. Because of this disadvantage, things around turns harder. It's harder for me to change, it's harder for me to accept changes, it's harder for me to keep it calm. I will retaliate, rebel and turn into a Monster. I'm rude and despicable.

I can't listen to others and will be too absorb to myself.
I'll turn very ugly and egoistic.
I'll be unsuccessful.

Patience is the key to everything..

I don't have any.

I should be thankful that was I was being born.

We need to learn to be grateful.

Watching those drama always turns me into this greedy love-attention-seeker-monster. The truth is, what the cast have we have it too, in fact it could have been better. It's just us, as an individual. We are never grateful and blind by these craves and wants.

We got the looks that they have but we never display is cause we think we're "too good for it"
We got the attention that they have but we would ignore it.
We got the fame that they have but we never wanted it.
We got the cash that they have but we never save it.

Humans can never be satisfied with what they have.
Cause they don't appreciate it.

- a self reminder.