Till when will you blame people

and more people to be blamed?

You do know you have a backbone of your own,

a mind of your own

and a heart of your own.

It was your mistake, all mistake are meant

to be known one day.

A experience.

Another fast week.

It's the fourth day of the week already.

On the second day, I received a cute little envelope with a packet of hacks in it and a thank you letter. The little girl from khutbah gave me and Sharifah a cute note. Really made my day. Couldnt help it but to smile to myself. #inspiration.

The day before today,

the class finally organized a heart to heart talk. I had my says and received few says. I admit what my classmates said were true. They were right and I love them for speaking out. They're the awesomest when it comes to the truth. After all, I spent most of my 365 days with them right? They know me. I thank them for their guts and their unsatisfactory cause not everyone can do so. And Thank you Hasanah too for making me take a step forward to change myself. Everyone need to change for the better right?

"People say people change but they never realized that they're the one who changed"

Right after the session, I received a heart breaking news.

Innalillah. That very same night, together with Hasanah, Qanita, Marhamah, Shifa, Fa and her mother, we paid her a visit. She was a strong girl. We read our Yasin for her father and we talked to her to comfort her and make her feel better. Paid her another visit today. She was delighted to see all her friends coming down to pass their condolence to her family. Insyallah, you will be alright Aqilah.

in love with the bouquet of flowers!

Time to turn a new page.

I was determined to make my day better than yesterday and make school even better than it usual is but it turns out to be more than I expected. Right after Qiyam, I've been receiving alot of smiles and hi that made my day. The Juniors. One by one approached me with a huge smile and made my day a whole lot brighter. :D

When it was khutbah with the secondary one and two, it was a smooth sailing bon voyage kinda cruise for me. The kids greeted me with full of sincerity and enthusiasm. As I did my job, phototaking, they were much more open than before. Alhamdulillah. But its kinda sad that its the second last khutbah.

I even managed to assist a girl who had stage fright. Pass her some of my confidence and ensure her that I won't be going anywhere and I'll always be by her side. Sharifah Sakinah was with her too. The crowd was a good crowd. Together we calmed her down as she gripped my hand hard. She slowly pushed herself through the entire speech. I was there to witness her determination and how she was pushing her limits. She was fighting her fear and was really brave about it. That taught me a lesson.

I was smiling all the way then, I had to reasons to be upset anymore.

The world is full of colors, why not admire them.

the agenda of three things

one: Back from Qiyam Lil Banat 2012. The first qiyam for the sec one and three. I love the team for their non stop steady-ness and pushing it all out to make it all happen. I admit, it wasnt the best qiyam, a qiyam where they kids will remember it all but I had fun. Getting to know the little girls and getting to know the team. The small talks and tiny advices. I'll say hi if I see them. :)

Thank you kids for making it happen. And Awesome Job Girls! :D

two: I have always admire looking at paintings and drawings. Every artist is unique in his/ her own way. The way they portrait themselves, the nature, the society and even their feelings. I do wish to have those magic fingers and amazing graceful hands. I do wish I can draw my emotions out and share it with the world.

three: Met the feb birthday girls. The Humairahs. Mai had to go back to KL already and some of us decided to hang out and chill for a while and so we did. Together with Farah and Ain, we accompanied Mai for her lunch at MCD and did some 411 (according to farah) on one another. It a sweet and simple. Maya came late and joined us afterwards. Boy was she glad to be hanging out at woodlands. *wriggle eyebrow*

At six, things got nasty and tough.

One of the worse. By ten, i was feeling sick.

At eleven, you're trying to make it feel better.

jailbroken.

Happy 15th Birthday Hannah!
This year that I got much closer to this little girl. The innocent little girl is no longer innocent. Cheeky and Sneaky indeed.

Hasanah, Shifa together with her spent her birthday morning excersing by the park, breakfast at MCD and prank calling. A spalsh of water with few sprinkles of powder made her happy. :D I hope you enjoy that little something.


--
It's gettin hard on me. that I'm confuse in your words that slowly turn into reaction and actions. You used to save me from this quicksand of confusion but right now....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

surprises.

Finally! The PREUTWO moment we've been waiting for.

Talaqqi bisannad. It was an up and down period for me. Hasanah even made an epic meme about it. It was no words for me but I guess the meme faces really did a great job expressing my inner feelings. Yay Memes!

Surprise one after another.

Someone is getting braver each day huh? First the note next the goodnight mention and afterwards the casual conversation that you asked around where I was. We had a large crowd looking at us around. You even made a risky call while an event is being held. tsk tsk. ^^

beat pumping

They finally did it! Gradutated Primary school, Secondary school and Pre University! :D

We got one kakak who is already in Uni while the rest are part time teachers, working girls and enjoying girls. ^^ Left with three of us who are still trying to follow their lead and Insyallah, be with them once again next year. Amin.

Congratulation Babygirls! <3

The day after their Convocation we met once again for a mini photo shoot and one last gathering before most of us part our ways to further our studies. Botanical Garden by the Lake. I got zilch skills but tried my best to take memorable photos for them. It was tough with the short period of time that we had. Shot til we drop.

Goofing around with the robes like its ours to own.

Soon it was dawn and maghrib arrived. We gathered in circle and talk like we usually do. The girls talk, the surprising updates. The catch ups. I loved the vibe and the love in the air as the stars and the moon witnessed our sisterhood love blossoms. I know I'm gonna miss them.

It wasn't our time yet. While some of us felt it was wrong, I took it as a motivation.

A motivation to not give up and push my way through. To visualize what I aimed for and what I shall achieve and Insyallah, with the doa and barakah, we will achieve.

Amin.

fail webcam

No School Today!

Mama delightful ground me so I wont leave the house and tire myself again and again and again. Well, it was her plan and decision right? Woke up at Noon, slacked till afternoon and WHOOPA! I'M CHILLED AND RELAX.

The internet and tv ain't working. Mr 3G's being superb h e r o i c.

So Dreamyyyy. :B

Currently: Trying to calm myself down & wait.

Waiting for the grad photoshoot pictures.

They have finally graduated.

It was such a beautiful event from start till the end.

I was very happy for each and every batchmates of mine. We've watched each other grew and now all of them are extraordinary. Some of us are teachers in school, teachers in kindergartens, tutors for secondary and primary students. Some day, they will be travelling around the world whereas some will stay here and spread the beautiful kalimah of Islam insyallah.

"Don't worry Shazaa, next year will be your year. Get their barakah"

A famous statement I received from teachers, friends and mothers. It was suppose to be my year. As one by one raise to the stage, I was at the back of the room. Looking around the hall. I looked my fellow ITMAJ peers, I looked at my asatizahs, I looked at Mateen. "This was suppose to be my year."

But when I looked back, if this year was my graduating year, I would miss alot of experience and the time of my life. I would miss out going to Canada, I would miss going to Irsyad, I would miss knowing Kak Nisa and the Netbolalers, I would miss Bahas 4PM, I would miss getting to know people, I would miss out the Gratis Trip, I would the experience as an ITMAJ student all because I graduate this year.

If I would to graduate this year,

I wouldnt be Who I am Today.

Good morning! :D

It's the fourth of feb today. and Dear Original Batch Mates,

Happy Graduation Day! ^^

May God bless you and give you guidance along the way and towards your future.

Congratulations you guys.

Just a short one

GRATIS | The Series #2 (Applying Al-Azhar) from Muzaph on Vimeo.

Slowly, the GRATIS has become a production. This is another episode.

The life of a madrasah kid. WARNING: Eating and drinking are not allowed while watching this clip. It may result to choking, spitting, nose clogging and tummy pains.

Part Two: It's been crazy.

School work piling up, ITMAJ work packing, IMG training. Fuuuh.

This girl got a backache with all this going on.

Been sleeping in class as well.

Can. Die. Please.

Chinese New Year Holiday.

Back from Johor Bahru~

I thought it was a nice adventure. The family had their moments. Shaheed gave out his weird laugh, we made a remix, parents were being playful. A good time. A last minute booking at the New York Hotel with the family and our mindset was chillex and see what happen. :D A stop at the mall for some food shopping and lunch and off the hotel to chill.

When night came, we headed to the Ustaz's Murad place for some BBQ. Chilling with the Mufti afterwards. Reached the hotel and it seemed dark. Black Out. But the dark was then accompanied by fireworks from outside. I love the hotel room's big window. I've always loved big windows. The view from the 20th floor.

Even better, a surprise call that shine my darkness. It shone till the lights were back on.

The night got better each second. :)

More chilling and a big tasty lunch the next day. Yumm~

A friend indeed, Muhammad Abdul Mateen.

I was browsing my archives the day before and gosh I've always loved 2008. :D

&& I just notice how I owe Mateen so much. Most of my posts always had "I owe Mateen so much" "I owe Mateen once again" "Mateen, I owe you one, thank you for listening"

A long lost friend with so much fun and laughter.

I've always been mean to him back then and still am.

But I'm telling you, He's such a brilliant friend. One out of a million.

I am grateful to have him around.

Save you tonight.

"I've tried playing it cool, but when I'm looking at you

I can never be brave, cause you make my heart race"

Gong Xi Fa Cai.

So people are away for the holidays. I won't feel bummed but I'm bored. Maybe I'll hang out with the family and the books this holiday. Havent been talking much and couldnt even save you during the night. To let it go and left without a proper goodbye, see you then. Have a safe trip. ^^

Week Two Of School > Bummed.

I've been having this brain aches. Not headaches but brain aches. I'm feeling weak. I spent most of my train home sleeping and sleeping early than I use to. Hasanah's complaining already about my sleeping in class. The sleeping will always happen after recess and I can barely stay awake. I've tried my best to sleep early, watch my food pray to Allah than it gets better and now all I need is to wait and let time heal the situation. But right now, its killing me. I need to focus, I need to work, I need to gear up.

But right now, I'm slipping inside.

School!

Why hello there...

It's the second week of school and in the next fourteen hours will be my third week of school. So how's school so far? Meooow. WE'RE SENIORS! New resolution, new responsibility and did everyone just grew mature during the holidays. They've became so kakak kakak and abang abang material. Insyallah, this year will the year. We'll be exemplary students and role models to our juniors. Do pray for us, Amin.

12th January 2012,

I am officially an ITMAJ student holding the Public Relation responsibility together with Nur Kamalia, Marsya, Muzhaffar Khalis, Muhd Harithul Hasanain and Firda Abdul Wahid. Insyallah, we will try our best to hold up our job well for the better of the school and student. Insyallah. And of course the other members too from the event executives and logistic department. ^^

Plus... ITMAJ meeting just got better for myself. More gay faces to respond to. XD

14th January 2012,

Aariq Fikri just turned one! He's so cuuuuuute and handsome but that kid is so hyper and fast. But kid, too bad kak shazaa is faster. NYHAHA! He's walking already. YAY! Hung out at Braem's til eight thirty since most of us were taking our own sweet time. :D It was good to see cik once again. Thank God Braem and Mai got license cause a ride home to Jurong East! :D Diyana, Ain and I rode Mai's while Braem drove Mateen, Ammar, Firdaus, Muz home. Ooooh, I want to get the license. $$$

Found this tumblr. Skipped beat by beat and smile to sleep last night. ^^

Dear Future...

ثالث مرة

إلى متى سيكون هكذا؟

2012

Hey hey hey.

SCHOOL HAS BEGUN. LAST YEAR. SENIORS. MORE COMMITMENTS.

Some serious issue going on here. So far so gooooood~

What's lovely is I got my girls once again, new mindset and feeling a new me.

I hope it stays this way. My heart is such a superbass for twenty twelve.

But I'm missing the girls.

Having Adila and Ain around, visiting the seniors classes, and being non roke models to the little kiddies. But its life. We need to learn to grow up and move on. Changes are good.

k bye.

LAST.

Finally trying to get back to editting. After working hard on one, I noticed a typo.

*face palm* At least I got a back up "Tkpe lah, bole jdi grand+gratis (ape saje). Make it our own. Goodjob miss ;D" Terime kasih ye Mateen. #ponboleh XD

Well, It was such a trip that we all would love to go once again. Let's hope braem ingat kita and will invite us once again for another amazing trip. Insyallah, if its our rezeki it will be better! :D Baba will always tell me experience is the best teacher and it sure did. Slowly without my acknowledgement I learn few things Indon taught be. Something you cant get in Singapore. Patience, Cooperation, The care and concern from one another. Indon maybe a rural and not really developed country, but it has values no technology can really teach.

When the creative team became creative. :D

Saat saat semue sedang merindu, ini menjadi pengubat bagi semue. Tante even got to watch this silly movie and loved it. Horrible actors huh? Hahah. A souvenir for all of us. Apparently everyone loved it! Ammar's epic faces, the boys random motions. Muz macam sajak pula jadi bdk indon. But I must say, Mas Braem can win a grammy award. "Yang mana satu ini?!" You can even hear the background laughter.

DAY SIX - Last day :'(

It was sad cause it was the last day being together in Indon.

It was nothing much, most of us were sleepy and wished we could stay longer. Tha gallery of the sleeping kids.

So it was just a nap away to the airport. Apparently our last day was Rafi's birthday. So HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY! sang him a birthday song before we all head inside. I missed the fly off. So did Diyana and Rab. I guess we were really tired. :D The plane home was nice. I had the perfect spot. It was nice way to end the trip. Had few laughs with Rab's lameness before I miss her and received a little surprise for myself. note scribbling all the way to Singapore Changi Airport. There was a long pause as we landed. Apparently the door was stuck. Is that a sign? :D I bet most of our phones started to ring with notifications. Some of us were tweeting already. Finally the door opened as we alight.

Too sad to be true that our trip has end. Goodbyes are always hard. We took the opportunity to thank cik for everything. For being our momma and for teaching us few things about life, for sharing her life story. The girls had their moment to hug it out with one another and hugged cik as we wiped our tears away. I miss the girls already. Sigh. Our twitter were filled with indons moments made me miss the whole thing even more. I miss Aariq Fikri.

A few nights after, it funny that I had a dream about the indon gang.

This time round, we were going on a Cruise people. :D Aariq was walking already.

Till the next trip then. ^^

(one more indon post left, stay tune.)

DAY FIVE

Hehehehe. To those who still have the indon frenzy, here's your day five you've been waiting.

I bet most of us had a nice sleep the night before. It had a quiet neighbourhood, a serene weather cause I know i had a rejuvenating kinda sleep. Made up myself and went down to the living room and hang out with them. The "family feeling" was still there that non of us care ade yang selekeh ke tak. Here in the living room, I learned that Indon got too many commercials and gossips. Their commercials are either too lame, too funny or too awkward. Life is an adventure.. *picture of a baby milk* Crickcrick.

We were really talking our own sweet time in the Villa. Tante was already ready to go inside the bus. Took some photos and bid the villa and the awesome memories there goodbye. :) Before we proceed to Pondok Indah, we made a pit stop to Rindu Alam once again but this time, morning version. :D Masyallah! The view was breathtaking. With a bit of the white clouds to add the foggy-ness of the green landscape.

Ain was on her move. Epic shaking gestures. Brrrrrrrrrrrr. Comel lah teman baik saya ni. Heheh. Here Cik pointed out how short I am. Aww. And Indah not only does she have a strong voice, she got some strong arms mayne! Feeling manja sekejap. xP

And Oh! I did mention it had a spectacular view right? Si Epic dan Si Kelakar decided to play Titanic. Elok lah tu. The boys should be grateful they had Muz, they ran down to the pretty side of the hill for some awesome shots of the greeneries. But I still like and prefer Dee's lens.

Her pics = brilliant!!

All of us had to bring something home to remind us this wonderful trip. Apparently, the group photo here was pretty enough that all of us got a 20,000 rupiah group picture printed. The printing was slower than before that we nearly left. Alhamdulillah, all the patience paid off.

It has only been 10 mins when we got stucked in a half and hour or more road blocked. Well, Muz should be grateful cause here comes the drama. "Cik, nak turun sekejap and lari balik boleh? Muz tertinggal lens" Mesti lah semue teperanjat. So Ammar and Mateen heroically jumped out off the bus and ran back up for his lens. While they were on their quest to get back the lens, we were inside the bus entertained by hijabi pondans and clay making dude. That dude's hand worked fast and he had some creative skills. We were well entertained for a moment and decided to get one from him. When the two boys came back, alhamdulillah they found the lens. Muz let out a relief and thanked them. I heard they actually hitched a ride. :O An adventure of their own.

Drama #2 - Cerite Mbok Berek.

When you got a kid and that little baby just had a tummy full of milk and baby food, dont shake him cause he might go all milkshake on you like this...

Hahahah! Only Ain can feel what he felt. All of us just dat there stare at him and laughed. XD Si epic jadi lagi. XD Aariq face above was too cute to ignore. "I didnt do anything, Cik Din yang goncang Aariq." Apparently, Mama Ain and Uncle Braem are the only ones courageous to clean Aariq up. Mama said even Papa and Cik Din cannot tahan with the smell. I put my head down and salute them both. XP

Here I learned that I really cannot tolerate with the smell of smoke. It was a close space where smokers can smoke and I had to eat in there. Bad Idea. Teary eyes, bad headache, irritating coughs and choke myself out.

Back to the favourite house! *sings out almost paradiseeee~*

We settled down, took our ablution and tone down for our prayers. Right after that, Cik gathered us all and make us come up with presentation. A farewell thing for Tante. After the planning and practices, we did our maghrib and gathered around. It started with the two I love Bandung Hosts; Safwan and Ammar as they introduce Ibrahim's Quran recitation followed by Zahirah's teary and simple speech. The boys did some nasyid in between Mateen and My speech. Right afterwards was abg wan's speech and tante's family speech. The girls were already wiping their tears as we hugged tante and thanked her personal. Afterwards it was SHOPPING! :D

Right after shopping, it was SWIMMING! The guys swam first in the cold water. Since most of us had no plans to sleep, we decided to swim right after the boys. Brrr! It was freezing okay. Our pool got a boya gossip with five (or was it six?) girls squashed together. Waduhh! Parah banget sih. I didnt know the float could actually carry all of them. hahaha. Mai, Ain and I took out leave first. The Race to The Toilet with Mai. :D Hilarious~

Pool at One was awesomeeee. ^^