Next level

I've opened a new chapter!
Day 3 of Orientation week for the international students. :D

Generally: 
How am I feeling? Honestly, I still couldn't find a description. But I definitely feel like a young adult. hahah. After years living in a condition with a helper at home, I am finally on my own. Now, THAT'S NEW!

Yes, I've been pampered.

Roomies:
I share a room with 3 other Wak Tanjong Students taking Arabic Language, Law and Education. They have been helpful. I'm still trying my best to adapt to them and all. Our room behaves well. In fact we have already inspired a student to clean up her room. haha.

I pray for a better future, cooperation and stay with residences of room 4.6

University:
Duh, it's big. I'm still grasping the fact that THIS is my University. My School. Where I will be spending my next 4-5 years or so.

Pray Well for me! :D

patience is the key to everything.

I'm a weakling.
I need to always remind myself where my place is, down on the ground.

I have always been lack of patience and tolerance. Because of this disadvantage, things around turns harder. It's harder for me to change, it's harder for me to accept changes, it's harder for me to keep it calm. I will retaliate, rebel and turn into a Monster. I'm rude and despicable.

I can't listen to others and will be too absorb to myself.
I'll turn very ugly and egoistic.
I'll be unsuccessful.

Patience is the key to everything..

I don't have any.

I should be thankful that was I was being born.

We need to learn to be grateful.

Watching those drama always turns me into this greedy love-attention-seeker-monster. The truth is, what the cast have we have it too, in fact it could have been better. It's just us, as an individual. We are never grateful and blind by these craves and wants.

We got the looks that they have but we never display is cause we think we're "too good for it"
We got the attention that they have but we would ignore it.
We got the fame that they have but we never wanted it.
We got the cash that they have but we never save it.

Humans can never be satisfied with what they have.
Cause they don't appreciate it.

- a self reminder.

Drama and Life

I have always been a bad writer. I can never make a brilliant sentence or paragraph. Although life can be cliche but it's deep and meaningful.. It's just a pity that not many can see or feel it.

I'm fine sitting at home for a long period of time but I don't prefer it at all. I'll turn lazy, slightly emotionally and wander through my thoughts. I'll think about life, about myself, about my family and friends and sometimes it hurts. Deep down inside, I am waiting. Waiting for something I'm not sure of.

I watch too much drama. I expect reality to turn into drama. I see and observe other people's life. "Why are their life such a drama and mine seems so bleak and plain?" Well that's the thing, my life is a drama of its own only I don't appreciate it. Somewhere out there, someone else is asking themselves about my drama.

Life doesn't chase for Drama.

Drama chases Life..

Hari Raya

Before heading the big U word, maybe I should hang out with some of my friends for Hari Raya. And we did! :D Alhamdulillah for 2 awesome days. 

Hari Raya With Friends Day 1: 

Meet the who we called, "Si Belings". 

These are the gangs who have been with me for 2 important years staying up all night long during tests, CAs, projects,  researches and exams. When no one was around to stay up with me and help me out, they will always be there. I couldnt thank them enough for unleashing the study potential in me. I've never been the brightest student but I work hard with their motivation and support. Once again, Thank you guys. :D 

We went around with 2 cars and a motor. Since we had exam space in one of the cars, it was time to send the motor home. This is where all the experiments begins. We swapped car and passangers here and there. Loud sing alongs, bad drivings and 2 kerat pantun everywhere. Thanks to Whatsapp Audio Notes and group chat was like a walkie talkie. "We masok AYE already!!!!" 

It was a great night with birthday surprises, nice food and great laughs. 

Hari Raya With Friends Day 2: 

My girls since Secondary 1. We are now all over the world and we are university students. Since it summer break for them, we are gathered once again but not a complete amount. Nevertheless, it was still a warm one. 

A game of charades, frontal bickering with apologies at the end, on going conjuring comments and hilarious stories. I had a funny occurrence! 

My story: It was dark in the bus and we just finished a game of charade after plenty of nonsense going on. Suddenly as I got up to alight I felt something grabbing below me. It felt extra windy below. I was pulling something below. "What on earth is this?" When I look down, I was so shocked to see.. my kain fell already! Thank god I had an inner inside. Sha and Fifi was laughing to hard and we didn't had time to react and pull it up. :'D

Well it was good at the end. Settled at Sha's place and checked out our home video from last year graduation photoshoot. The day when Diyana shared with us her wedding news. And oh my, Sha's mom remark was true. We did grew big. Everybody seems extra "happy" We put on meat. :D 

Well, five more days and I'm in guys. 

Honestly: Not looking forward to it. 

secret lesson in progress.

Back with a new experience! A burning experience! :D

It was the time of the month and here comes my cycle. This time round, the pain was unbearable. I lost appetite and felt numb the whole body. The little kids were nice enough to help me out. I got myself some boiling hot water to calm the cramps now. Guess what?

WORST IDEA EVER,

It was so hot that it is still burning with cloth. I was dapping when the cap from the tumblr accidentally opened and spilled all the hot water on me. I could barely move. I thought it was nothing when it hit me that I couldnt move. In agony, I cried silently until my dad had to carry me to bed. I was sent to A&E for a horrible experience.

Well, I learn that I got ZERO tolerance for pain. Had it checked up and was glad that I do not need to get admitted. So right now, I'm like a preggie. really. I can barely move cause I fear I might burst the bubbles. Yupp, I'm cooking skin right now. It's like an episode of alien vs terminator.

Been lying down for 2 days already. The family have been very helpful. I guess no matter how faithful your friends are, your family will never leave you alone. Mama popped in the questions, "Where's your friends?"

I'm left speechlesss.

that feeling cause I'm being

Cause I'm pretending right now when I am not okay.
I am curious and I do wish an explanation could make it better.
But it will be just a little to late for that.

"Was I worth getting ignored?"

Shattered. Who am I?

you just need to wake up

Tonight, I ask myself. Why do I keep wanting to be this and that but never work or make an effort for it? Why do I dream this and that but never burn the midnight oil to reach for it? For me to get there, I need to get up and move, I need to work hard and start something. But look where am I now? No where. 

Human. I'm such an ordinary human. 
When will I be extrodinary at least for me, for myself. Wake up Shazaa, it's time for an upgrade. 
Be it your deen, your knowledge or your physical.

Well that's one. 

Here's another:  

It's never gonna happen my dear self. Not in a million years. 

There's a limit to everything you do and what you say. Take good care of yourself this time round cause some things are just meant to keep it to yourself. 

Somethings are meant to be quiet, to be silence, to be isolate and to be island.  

Just keep look forward for a smile cause you deserve it. :) 

Fast prep.

I'm cleaning up my Mac cause the hard disk is about to die. Bloated with Shazaa junkies!
Then I saw this.. I've always love this picture for some reason. The colors, the faces, the ambience. But not everyone like this picture and.. I can still vividly remember this.

Well, as you can see Hari Raya is coming down!
&& It's a new experience for me. I've been in charge financially for my sister. Ever since I start working, my parents are hands down on my monthly expenses. It's okay, I hope they have something on mind.

Finally, I headed Geylang with Shifa and a little special appearance of Sharifah Nabilah, Mail and Farhanah. Couldn't thank them enough for saving us. We were awkwardly wondering around Geylang. It's better than anything! Bought few Raya materials and hang around the Bazaar for food.

Back in two.

In two weeks: I've been in the streets of Macau where Kim Joong Kook surprised Gwang Soo and Sukjin in his sprain ankle and I've stepped on the floors of the Floating Markets in Thailand where Nickhun handsomely ripped out Kookie's tag.


Such a proud Running man fan! :D

Back from Thailand and it was amazing! Although it was a 2D1N kinda thing but it was brilliant. I would love to come back and explore more. Any joiners? Let's get lost in the highways. 

It was a crazy 4.5 hours drive here and there. From the airport to Kamphaeng Phet and back to the airport again the next day. Boss did an awesome job wrapping up fast which gives us 2 hours of shopping tourist time. That's where they brought us to the floating market. Cheap awesome stuff! For a girl who only brought 1231 Bhat, I was a happy girl. 

We even manage to shop along the highway. 

15 min shopping. Shopping lessons by Make up Artist. 

It was sad that we had to end it quick. 

But it was much more sad cause this will be my last shoot. :( 

It has been a fun journey. 

Considering others needs.

I've been horrible for not updating. But then again, it's not like I have any readers (except for Dhannea Rohaizad, the "true reader") Haha.

But I'm still going to keep on writing for my own good. :)

Here's another work trip! Say Hello to Hong Kong.

Hong Kong was amazing. The skylines were breath taking and there's just something about the smart architecture. It's a mixed of modern and old as well. This generation fusion.

 @ The Peak for sunset shoot. 

And guess what? I got to meet China. Day Two was in Xin Hui.
WHERE KANCHIONG WAS BORN! hahaha. Everyone was rushing here and there and naturally pushing. I even witnessed a 15 min argument between a PR and an immigration officer. Things could have been over in 3 mins but no, they decided to bond by arguing.

Day Three. Macau!
Love love love the buildings and the streets! I wish we could stay there longer for me to explore it deeper. Soon maybe? :)

Overall it was a great trip. I learn new things about my industry, my work and also my team. Even the company we are exploring taught me few things about life and business and how everything is related and relevant to one another. It's all about the circle of life.

"...... and respect to your parents." - Mr Lee Man Tat, the secret to success.

My Crew: They have been great seniors and crew teaching me each day and taking care of me. I would definitely repay them back one day if I could Insyallah.

Thank you for teaching me and taking care of me.

Thank you for everything. :) 

Just a simple wish.

Ramadhan Mubarak everybody. 

I hope for a blissful and wonderful holy month for all of you and may this month change you into a better person you were before Insyallah. :D 

Every year, I would always anticipate how my next ramadhan would be. This is, it's going to be different. Apparently, I will be away half of the month even the last ten days of Ramadhan doesnt seem pleasing because of work. Nevertheless, I'm hoping to learn, explore and experience something new Insyallah. ^^ 

I guess that is all! 

Thank you. 

WARNING: THIS IS GONNA BE DULL. 

yupp, thats me,

Let me introduce you to my epic crew for Centennials.
Need a videographer for wedding or shows, search for Bizkode and give them a call. :)

It's been fun working with them. I will always be learning something from them or at least get entertain by their "adult creativity". They have portrait to me a brotherhood working environment, a boss to employee relationship, a bro-to-bro friendship with a little sprinkle for being a family. They always got each others back and at the same time display professionalism while doing work.

I pray a bright future for Bizkode. Good luck.

Whereas for me..

Eh.. Still working.. Still like that like that. I'm lost in my own world and lazy as ever.
I'm losing character. My techno color reality show of me is turning into black white. I'm losing rates. Urggh...

I don't have a goal and purpose. I'm like a friggin bean sprout right now.
Other than that, I'm still denying facts. I'm such a blob. Such an adult. No offence to all the adults out there. I'm just saying I need a sprinkle of imagination and stop worrying and overthinking.

I need to start painting my life, go je...

a sad wed.

I should be writing. I should be reading. 

I had to do a simple explanation letter and it felt like O level all over again. Shit! I need to buck up. I felt so stupid while writing. I even got Jannah to check and make it into a pretty formal letter. haiss. 

Today, 27th June seems like a sad day. 

Jannah's leaving me and it hurts when I saw Insyirah's instagram post. 

My girls are leaving soon. The girls that have always been there for me. If one of them stay close I guess I should be able to handle it well. But honestly, I don't think I can do it. I don't think I'll be able to handle them, leaving me. 

Everyone is leaving. Can I leave as well? 

But on the brighter side, today was fun. 

It was like Photoshoot day in the office. Everyone had their camera phones on and Poloroid pics were piling all over. It was a happy moment in the office. :) 

arigato

Hello from Japan! :D
Just got back from Shibuya! For now, it's one of the best night ever! Jump shots, wifi, laughs and tours!

It has been five days already here in Japan and it's simply awesoooome! Well, work is still work but the team made it fun for me to follow thru. Even the company representative made my stay a good one to experience. Alhamdulillah for this opportunity. :D

One company down and two more to go.

I'm glad the rest of the team are very outgoing people who make things easy and also adore night trips. Walked around Ginza street last night and shopped at their stores. H&M and UNIQLO had better pricing than Singapore! Come on Singapore, you need to start reasoning up your prices. No wonder Japanese can go fashionable with no worries.

Observation about the Japanese:

1. I see that Japanese hospitality is the BOMB! They host is sooooo well that I feel so bad. But what to do? Rezeki, terima dan bersyukur. hahaha.

2. They have a policy that states "Customer is God"
This is why they customer services have always been the best.

3. They even have toilet manners.
There a music button on the toilet to avoid disturbance while doing your "business" and etc. You even get to choice which kind of water spray would you like to wash yourself. :P

4. They are very calm and always very friendly.
I feel very welcome from everybody around the street.

5. Super Punctual and on the dot! TIME IS EVERYTHING PEOPLE!

Shout out to: Mr Sakabe, Mr Masak, Dinusha and the Yamaha representatives for the splendid hospitality with the fine dining and taking us to AMAZING(!!!!!) Japanese delicacy.

Well that's all for now. :D

one of my favourites.

A birthday wish from her. 

Happy 20th Birthday to me. The youngest young adult. haha. 

more than three

1.
Lesser than a week to my 10 days trip to Japan. Everybody's been telling me how lucky I am and that I should have fun during my trip. Being a pathetic worrywart, I am just stopping myself. I just can't see this trip as a fun one. Call me crazy and I shall accept it with all my heart.

IT'S JAPAN SHAZAA! You've been dreaming to go there ever since you were young!
What is wrong with me?

2.
I've been soo busy with work that I haven't had time for myself. Y'know just me myself and I kinda moment. During my school days, I would always have a goal. An objective and a mission. What will my future be and I'll work hard to aim and go for it. But work pulled me aside. I don't know what I'm doing and it seems like I'm not targeting anything! Sigh. I need a breather.

I've been straying and I've been neglecting. If it wasn't for a friend's question "What do you want to do?" I will still be lost, sturdy and aimless.

It's time to wake up girl.

3.

Written for you

I don't want to miss you, but I do. I miss having you around. You stayed a little too long for me to easily get rid of you. Stupid. 

I've always adore the fact that you're a thinker. How you think you over think and sometimes get worried about what you're thinking that it gets to your dreams at night. But do you know, you make me think. I miss thinking. I miss making sense and in fact using my common sense. Sometimes, you just like sharing what you've been thinking and although I don't want to listen to it, I still did. But I won't complain cause I enjoyed it. It made me think and sometimes hit me hard. 

I've always adore how you get mad and upset with me if I come with no updates. No stories to share. The fact that you will text me and say "takde updates ke?" Be it weekly or monthly. I love the rush and excitement when we have something to say. "omg! I got a story!!!" "Me too. I'll call you soon!" Those long paragraph-y texts. 

I miss your late night advices. When you scold me because of my decisions yet you still let me make my own. When you get frustrated yet you still forgive. I miss getting into trouble and you there to save me. 

But hey, look at you now. 

All grown up. Knowing what to do, what's right and wrong. Heading you're own way. 

Getting better each day... without me. 

Feeling DJ

Counting down the dates.. to Japan!

As scared as I am, I hope I get plenty of assistance and everything goes really smoothly. A first international shoot!

The house is turning into a bakery house.
My sisters together with mama and bibik are going crazy for doughs, baking powders and yeast. Well, looks like I'll be gaining more weigh this week. && I hope its JUST THIS WEEK.

What did boss told me?
1. Boss told me to get jabs! UHHH... can I skip that?
2. Boss is indirectly telling that I might be producing. Noooo.
3. I'm going home ALONE on the 22nd. Power.

Today's blog video: Suit and Tie from Clarence Liew ft. Farhan Shah.



Good sound with terrific flow. Except what's up with the extra lipstick application and car rushes. Shouldnt the audio be down, I mean after all they were lip syncing right? But two thumbs up! I approve. Bing!

Enjoy! :D

grateful,

Alhamdulillah things have been grrrrreat! :D
Since Boss released me from Karung Guni Muda, this week will be my last episode before I got transfer to another programme. I'm scared like hell but I have to be strong. Afterall, I'm here for the experience. Wish me luck you guys!

This week was lovely.

Tuesday with the Jimpsters:
I received one of the best greetings from Atiqah and a warm hug and shrill from her. It was a nice feeling to see the juniors. We played a game for old time sake and McDonald lunch with plenty of stories and wacky jokes to share around. I love you girls. 

Medical check and ice cream cake with the Final Chapter:
I finally need to settle down with my university application and take it seriously so I request for an off and headed SATA for a check up. Bloody blood test killed me! I didn't know it would hurt that much and to fight fear, aint that easy yo. It's double fear in one go. I wish it could end fast. After losing a quite amount of blood, I didn't know I'll be that exhausted. Despite the exhaustion, a nice tea catch up with the gang was brilliant. We chatted catch up and play a game just to get everyone closer. We're adults now, we couldnt stay long cause we have other commitments but I enjoyed and am grateful to have them around. Thank you for the day you guys.

Bahas with the kids on Thursday:
Looks like I'm alighting the ship extra early. It's just that I don't have the time to commit. On the day that I wanted to help them, I was assign to sit with the editor and do the editting. "Amciam Shazaa, instant promo?" NO WAY! :D But with a help.


Left with two more episiides! Leet's go!