tummy drama part three

My past three days have been a tummy drama. It's been like this....

My body energy level is going down.. down.. down...

But it was fine, cause I had good company during the three days. Worrying about plenty of things but I had good friends calming me down and told me all I need right now is some rest. Manage to study and do plenty of stuff which is kinda..good?

my by-your-side

When you're a little girl, all you do is play dress and be whoever you wanna be. Imaginations beyond your limits. But as you grew older, you began to stop imagining. Your imagination starts to fade its colors.

But who said I stopped? I am as wild as I can be. As jumpy as I can be. As naughty as I can be. Why? Because You gave me the imagination to imagine, the dreams to dream and flew with me around the universe like I'm Peter Pan. Priceless.

If it wasn't for you, I won't be who I am today.

I'll still be the mess I was yesterday.

Thank you.

where was I?

"i dont care abt tt, what if i just tell you tt i need you? to help me be strong, remind me of the stuffs needed to remember, study with me again, excell with me like how we used to, Help me choose the right path the right decision like how u did back at 2010"

sense to make

Things havent been making sense lately,

It all started with: Me.

I'm ignorant. I couldnt careless. I am like a heartless breed with no soul and heart.

Am I happy? I am grateful that I'm alive. But this heartless breed with no soul and heart is turning me upside down.

I'm glad I am closest to the warmest and friendliest person in school.

If it wasnt for her, I'm as cold as ice. She knows the potential in me and she knows the icy part of me. But her equation right now for me, not much of a result.

On the other hand, I got another person who is always hurt by my cold. I maybe be a mess but I dont like to see other caught up in my mess. I'm a pusher. I push. I do wish you wont get tangled, cause I can't bare to see you get hurt. I no longer want to be the reason you're always upset cause lately, I can no longer make you happy. When was the last time I made you smile.

I have to learn how to be kind. I have to learn to be warm. I feel like I dont know how to care, I dont know how to comfort. I dont know how to give you a gentle touch to serene you. For others, its as simply as abc, but for me its a large Einstein equation for me.

Hi.

I'm ridiculous. I'm complicated. I'm selfish.

Sport, we unite.

It's finally over. It's kinda fast dont you think so.

And what's new? My face. Burned. Thank to who?

Le Sun during IMG.

My march holiday started brilliantly. My mind was transparent as you know what I wanted each time. :D A whole day spent splendidly. An adventure of our own. I liked when the night finally arrived as we strolled around the food court getting lost and ended up getting a drink at MCD. Slept over at Q's and we were ready for Day Two IMG; Netball.

The JIMPSTERS DID AWESOME FOR NETBALL AND CAPTAINBALL. We managed to get Gold for Captainball both Jr and Sr but I guess it wasnt our luck for Netball. The juniors managed to get third whereas the seniors got fourth.

---

I decided to came down for Futsal and helped out with what can be helped. Juniors was my group to motivate and cheer upon. They did superb well. I nearly burst into tears seeing them fight in the Cage.

"Once a JIMPSTER, always a JIMPSTER"

Team Junior: Gold Captainball. The Only All Win Team.

Team Senior: Gold Captainball. The Fighters.

IMG was an experience. This year was different. The students really tired their best to win the sportmanship and avoid all unnecessary arguments and fight. We even protected and defend each other when someone came to insult one another. :D Most of the school loved Aljunied's Cheer. :D Na Na Na Na ~

My Job here is done. The girls manage to learn something about themselves and about believing. They got what they wanted. I've guide myself and them too through out the journey. I learnt something no classroom can teach me. It made me stronger and wiser too. I could have not learn those without the JIMPSTERS help and also without Kak Nisa's wisdom and experience.

mmhm.

The past week was a tough week. Indeed a free ride of The Reality of Roller Coaster.

But Alhamdulillah, I got family and friends who manage to pull me through and help me out along the way. Finally, CA WEEK A.K.A POST EXAM = DONE!

Good thing: March Holiday is Here! Time for a break.

Not So Good thing: IMG heat is on! Are we ready? You'll see.

Starting of March holiday seems to be going fine. Monday is the starting of the holiday, right?

friday,

Still waiting.

It was a try out. It did bring some benefits didnt it?

I learn that you will always be there,

"cause she's like a sunshine, everything brightens up when she's around"

Still am.

It's stay home Saturday the day before.

Plenty of work to finish up and YAY! Complete most them. Well, I had to.

There was a party going on at the Woodlands Stadium. A Must Go Party. :D

The stage were rocking it away with wacky hosts, direct to the point khutbahs, cute kids and melodious Qasidah and Nasyids. A Job Well Done 7 Hours. Didn't even saw the time ticking away. ^^

---

"Text to Sister"

I saw it. You told my little to be strong and not portrait any sign of weakness.

I miss that part of You. You've always been strong and even share with other that strength of yours. But when I'm around, you lost that strength didnt you?

I'm killing you,

Staying home obediently today. Had KFC for breakfast with Mama before she headed for work. Catched up as she left. Stayed home and have been on the Mac since.

Will be heading Kallang soon for Netball. The girls spirit are really pushing me harder and harder. I am determined now. I shall inspire and motivate them through their passion. I hope they will apply them in their daily life as well.

Taught me a little something. Maybe I'll try to apply it.

Afterall I'm a bad listener, always excited.

I like speed.

A formula I saw:

You = Sad > Me = Sad

Me = Trying to be strong and not be sad = looks like I dont care when I do.

I cant join the the cruise of sadness as well. I'm losing my confidence and my esteem gradually and I cant let that happen. I need them for myself, for my friends. It getting insane lately. I dont even know what I'm doing anymore. Have I lost my control?

what if..

I've always love elephants especially the plushie ones. :D

They're just too cute and deserve a hug.

CA week (or should I say weeks) are here. It's crazy cause they arent really tests. More like exams cause they're modular subjects. No exams just common test. Can. Die. Have been squuezing my brain juice to the extend that I've ran out of juice.

Conclusion: Sick Girl blogging away.

Well, I have been tired physcially, mentally and emotionally. Just ptaying for the better right now, Insyallah.

I'm sorry I can't be who I use to be.

Barely a shine to the sun.

Till when will you blame people

and more people to be blamed?

You do know you have a backbone of your own,

a mind of your own

and a heart of your own.

It was your mistake, all mistake are meant

to be known one day.

A experience.

Another fast week.

It's the fourth day of the week already.

On the second day, I received a cute little envelope with a packet of hacks in it and a thank you letter. The little girl from khutbah gave me and Sharifah a cute note. Really made my day. Couldnt help it but to smile to myself. #inspiration.

The day before today,

the class finally organized a heart to heart talk. I had my says and received few says. I admit what my classmates said were true. They were right and I love them for speaking out. They're the awesomest when it comes to the truth. After all, I spent most of my 365 days with them right? They know me. I thank them for their guts and their unsatisfactory cause not everyone can do so. And Thank you Hasanah too for making me take a step forward to change myself. Everyone need to change for the better right?

"People say people change but they never realized that they're the one who changed"

Right after the session, I received a heart breaking news.

Innalillah. That very same night, together with Hasanah, Qanita, Marhamah, Shifa, Fa and her mother, we paid her a visit. She was a strong girl. We read our Yasin for her father and we talked to her to comfort her and make her feel better. Paid her another visit today. She was delighted to see all her friends coming down to pass their condolence to her family. Insyallah, you will be alright Aqilah.

in love with the bouquet of flowers!

Time to turn a new page.

I was determined to make my day better than yesterday and make school even better than it usual is but it turns out to be more than I expected. Right after Qiyam, I've been receiving alot of smiles and hi that made my day. The Juniors. One by one approached me with a huge smile and made my day a whole lot brighter. :D

When it was khutbah with the secondary one and two, it was a smooth sailing bon voyage kinda cruise for me. The kids greeted me with full of sincerity and enthusiasm. As I did my job, phototaking, they were much more open than before. Alhamdulillah. But its kinda sad that its the second last khutbah.

I even managed to assist a girl who had stage fright. Pass her some of my confidence and ensure her that I won't be going anywhere and I'll always be by her side. Sharifah Sakinah was with her too. The crowd was a good crowd. Together we calmed her down as she gripped my hand hard. She slowly pushed herself through the entire speech. I was there to witness her determination and how she was pushing her limits. She was fighting her fear and was really brave about it. That taught me a lesson.

I was smiling all the way then, I had to reasons to be upset anymore.

The world is full of colors, why not admire them.

the agenda of three things

one: Back from Qiyam Lil Banat 2012. The first qiyam for the sec one and three. I love the team for their non stop steady-ness and pushing it all out to make it all happen. I admit, it wasnt the best qiyam, a qiyam where they kids will remember it all but I had fun. Getting to know the little girls and getting to know the team. The small talks and tiny advices. I'll say hi if I see them. :)

Thank you kids for making it happen. And Awesome Job Girls! :D

two: I have always admire looking at paintings and drawings. Every artist is unique in his/ her own way. The way they portrait themselves, the nature, the society and even their feelings. I do wish to have those magic fingers and amazing graceful hands. I do wish I can draw my emotions out and share it with the world.

three: Met the feb birthday girls. The Humairahs. Mai had to go back to KL already and some of us decided to hang out and chill for a while and so we did. Together with Farah and Ain, we accompanied Mai for her lunch at MCD and did some 411 (according to farah) on one another. It a sweet and simple. Maya came late and joined us afterwards. Boy was she glad to be hanging out at woodlands. *wriggle eyebrow*

At six, things got nasty and tough.

One of the worse. By ten, i was feeling sick.

At eleven, you're trying to make it feel better.

jailbroken.

Happy 15th Birthday Hannah!
This year that I got much closer to this little girl. The innocent little girl is no longer innocent. Cheeky and Sneaky indeed.

Hasanah, Shifa together with her spent her birthday morning excersing by the park, breakfast at MCD and prank calling. A spalsh of water with few sprinkles of powder made her happy. :D I hope you enjoy that little something.


--
It's gettin hard on me. that I'm confuse in your words that slowly turn into reaction and actions. You used to save me from this quicksand of confusion but right now....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

surprises.

Finally! The PREUTWO moment we've been waiting for.

Talaqqi bisannad. It was an up and down period for me. Hasanah even made an epic meme about it. It was no words for me but I guess the meme faces really did a great job expressing my inner feelings. Yay Memes!

Surprise one after another.

Someone is getting braver each day huh? First the note next the goodnight mention and afterwards the casual conversation that you asked around where I was. We had a large crowd looking at us around. You even made a risky call while an event is being held. tsk tsk. ^^

beat pumping

They finally did it! Gradutated Primary school, Secondary school and Pre University! :D

We got one kakak who is already in Uni while the rest are part time teachers, working girls and enjoying girls. ^^ Left with three of us who are still trying to follow their lead and Insyallah, be with them once again next year. Amin.

Congratulation Babygirls! <3

The day after their Convocation we met once again for a mini photo shoot and one last gathering before most of us part our ways to further our studies. Botanical Garden by the Lake. I got zilch skills but tried my best to take memorable photos for them. It was tough with the short period of time that we had. Shot til we drop.

Goofing around with the robes like its ours to own.

Soon it was dawn and maghrib arrived. We gathered in circle and talk like we usually do. The girls talk, the surprising updates. The catch ups. I loved the vibe and the love in the air as the stars and the moon witnessed our sisterhood love blossoms. I know I'm gonna miss them.

It wasn't our time yet. While some of us felt it was wrong, I took it as a motivation.

A motivation to not give up and push my way through. To visualize what I aimed for and what I shall achieve and Insyallah, with the doa and barakah, we will achieve.

Amin.

fail webcam

No School Today!

Mama delightful ground me so I wont leave the house and tire myself again and again and again. Well, it was her plan and decision right? Woke up at Noon, slacked till afternoon and WHOOPA! I'M CHILLED AND RELAX.

The internet and tv ain't working. Mr 3G's being superb h e r o i c.

So Dreamyyyy. :B

Currently: Trying to calm myself down & wait.

Waiting for the grad photoshoot pictures.

They have finally graduated.

It was such a beautiful event from start till the end.

I was very happy for each and every batchmates of mine. We've watched each other grew and now all of them are extraordinary. Some of us are teachers in school, teachers in kindergartens, tutors for secondary and primary students. Some day, they will be travelling around the world whereas some will stay here and spread the beautiful kalimah of Islam insyallah.

"Don't worry Shazaa, next year will be your year. Get their barakah"

A famous statement I received from teachers, friends and mothers. It was suppose to be my year. As one by one raise to the stage, I was at the back of the room. Looking around the hall. I looked my fellow ITMAJ peers, I looked at my asatizahs, I looked at Mateen. "This was suppose to be my year."

But when I looked back, if this year was my graduating year, I would miss alot of experience and the time of my life. I would miss out going to Canada, I would miss going to Irsyad, I would miss knowing Kak Nisa and the Netbolalers, I would miss Bahas 4PM, I would miss getting to know people, I would miss out the Gratis Trip, I would the experience as an ITMAJ student all because I graduate this year.

If I would to graduate this year,

I wouldnt be Who I am Today.

Good morning! :D

It's the fourth of feb today. and Dear Original Batch Mates,

Happy Graduation Day! ^^

May God bless you and give you guidance along the way and towards your future.

Congratulations you guys.