back in action.

My my,
I'm such a dissapointment. This is such a long hiatus with no warning or updates huh.
Well I have been writing, just not here.

So here's a quick rush:
During my short sem, I was working at Birkenstock again wit a different attitude and much more fun time, went to New Zealand for an amazing time and that trip, changed my life.

dun dun dun.

There you go readers. Hahah!
Something to look forward too soon I guess?
i'll update my day to day during my trip to New Zealand with pictures and what happened after my happily ever after trip to New Zealand.

so stay tune folks! :D 

how I got into trouble with a bad boy

The long weekend is here you guys! I hope you're planning a pleasant one with your family and friends. I understand not everyone might be enjoying the long weekends or who know something is coming to get you, please be strong. Hang in there because you're worth it! You are valuable no matter how much you crumble or being stepped on. 

I believe in you! Stay strong. 

Finally (after several fail attempts) I get to meet these girls for Ban Mian! We called ourselves Team Drama since forever. What do we do? We literally talked about our drama, be each other drama and endure each others' drama. I will forever love how the three of us met. Haha. 

It all begin with a sweaty friday night. One thing the three of us have in common is netball. The three of us are 2 years gap intervals. I'm a 93', Meng is a 95' and Aisyah is a 97'. Initially we planned to grab breakfast with all our the netballers who lives around the North side of Singapore but slowly, one by one bailed on us. Just imagine out of 10-15 people, it came down to 3. None of us were close or knew each other but we tried to work it out. I guess that's how we roll. "Work it out.." The day apparently didn't end there. It was full of surprises. It was spontaneous. We started our day with an awkward breakfast but ended our day hiding behind bushes for a surprise party. It was amazing! The next thing we knew, our meets will always be an impromptu meeting, anytime, anywhere cause that's how we "work it out.." 

With few more sunsets, I'll be experience a different kind of sunset. 

Honestly, I'm psyched but at the same time worried. I'm really tight on budget and I am just winging it. I'm crazy but I'm never gonna be young forever. Can't wait to create some trouble. :D 

Brought home these bad boys today. 

Urgh! I can't help it but to love it soooo much! Bought it at Carousell for a pretty good deal since the Timberland's store and its outlet store didn't try to make it happy. 

It's 12:57am right now, 

if you're still up, get some rest Sayang. You deserve it! Slowly just stop for you are doing. 

xxx

I have a special somebody today.

“I couldn’t believe how much my children’s friends have grown..” 

Last Sunday, my parents initiated an open house exclusively for our friends. 

I will like to thank my friends for making their time to attend our humble open house and bring so many rezq to our home. Barakallahufikum. I had so much fun hanging out with some of my old friends and meeting juniors. They're all sooo big already! And the amount of love in one day. WOW! 

Even better, these little munckins came over to bring so much giggle and cuteness. Their little “yays” and sneaky cuddles are irresistible. I pray that both of you will grow up well and healthy, Insha Allah. Amin. 

--- 

The next day was a day off with my favorite people. 

Here’s a funny story: 

Me and Hasanah were heading to JCube to grab some lunch at 18Chefs when we were stopped by a promoter. So he was fluently and tremendously promoting this $9.90-only-Swenses-coupon when he decided to talk about us. 

Abg Sweneses: So I bet you girls have boyfriends...(Hasanah and I looked at each) 

H&I: Uhmm.. No. (Deep down inside, I bet we were sighing. What a sad story! Haha! I’m kidding! We are enjoying singlehood as for now)  

Abg Swenses: Ohh! I know your type. Both of you are girlfriends. In a relationship. 

PAUSE A SECOND! Now this part I don’t know if Hasanah was thinking the same thing BUT DID HE JUST SAID THAT WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP? And I’m talking about relationship relationship. *jaws dropped*  

Hasanah: Yupp, I’m an #overlyattachedgf. *clap clap* (Way to go! Good going girl. Play his game. hahah!) 

Even better, at the end of the day, Hasanah concluded that she would actually consider him. 

OVER MY DEAD BODY GIRL! 

Fast forward, we met Aum and were suppose to be hunting for few stuff at Timberland..

Well, scrap that idea. Cause we did more of a food hunting instead of Timberland hunting. Hmmm.. 

Time to exercise those double chin! 

--- 

Yesterday I tweeted that something was #comingsooninmyblog. 

So let me introduce to you my “Special person”. Drum roll! 

dudududududu~ 

Hahahahahaha! I was just pulling your leg. It was just Hasanah. 

Shazaa’s current status is still: Single and not in a relationship. But thank you so much to those who are sooo excited for me. 

:’D 

Moral of the story: Don't jump to conclusion yet darling. Wait. Be patience. 

But honestly, 

Thank you to a certain person, I feel like a free bird yesterday. It was indeed a refreshing kind of feeling and I have no idea I was able to feel soo brand new after the closure we had. Thank you for the opportunity you have given me and I wish you the very best. :) 

new beginnin

One thing I'll miss about working at Birkenstock would be the hilarious and oh so awesome colleagues.
Everyday is an adventure with them. Be it an adventure together or with a customer but one thing for sure I have learnt so many things from them without them realizing themselves. With that, I thank all of you and it has been a wonderful journey, Thank you.

Hello August, you have finally arrived.
With all the SG50 hyped, Singapore is really anticipating this year's national day.
Well i know I am. Just look at the offers and effort civil servants have been putting on for our Golden Jubilee. Thank you so much for making Singapore a successful country.

At the same time, it's Syafiq's  birthday.
Happy Birthday to the Big brother I never had. For you have always been there for me when I am in need. Taught me the art of genuine kindness and helping others. May Allah bless you and  your family. I hope you had a great time although it was nothing much and rather short.

The short meet up was quite interesting. Syafiq shared few stories about what happened at work before meeting us. How he caught his students running back to the dark class room when they saw him coming just so they can give him a mini surprise. And also about his previous students who wanted for him to finish work just so they could  give him their hand made birthday cards. When he told me this stories, I thought his students were teenagers but they were still kids. Primary 4 and 5 kids who went through so much just so they can make their teacher smile on his birthday. Their sincerity touched me. When was the last time I did something special for my teachers when I'm all grown up with energy and maturity? Did I came back just to make them smile? 

a secret archive

5:54PM Ist June. 

The strength I thought I is slowly depleting. 

Slowly, I am waking up from my dream. 

I used to have friends whom I cherish, 

whom I can automatically go to without any doubt or questionings whether it is okay to say it or not because I know you will say, "It's okay Shazaa, I'm here to stay. I'm here to listen." 

One, I'm losing her to distance while Two I'm just losing him forever. 

One, we are just an hour away drive. Using the phone to connect with you is just not right cause you have always be physically there with me, always. We were the peas in the pot. 

Two, maybe distance was our thing. Not seeing each other physically without each other's presence was completely fine, in fact it was more than perfect. But when we had the priviledge to be together, physically with everyday presence, we grew apart. The closer we were, the futher we grew. 

I'm slowly crumbling without you guys, to be honest. 

I need you both.  

How do you understand customers?

The answer is you can't.
(sigh out louuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud)

Customers are like ladies during their monthly cycle. Or maybe a sensitive girlfriend who plays the sulking game level 1001. Be it a male customer or a female one. You mess with them, they'll give you hell. No matter how nice we are to them, they will always have the upper reason to act like we owe them something. No we don't. I understand that I am here to serve you but we are all hu -- I'm gonna stop here cause I forgot what I wanted to say. My train of thoughts had the similar MRT break down where they could not figure out what went wrong.. 

Now..

Here's a _____ story.

My senior colleague used to work as a call agent or a telemarketer assisting customers on the line as a service. Once a customer was not happy, made so much noise to the extend that the person opposite you could actually hear the conversation. (Your imagination is needed here: My colleague has always been a calm cool kinda person) So, the customer requested to talk to his superior to "give her feedback." 

"Can I speak to someone above you?"

"Oh. You want to talk to God?"

BAM! 

The classic answer all salesperson would love to say. 

Anyways, tomorrow is my last day! I'm gonna miss my colleagues but I got a life to live. 

It has been a pleasure meeting you guys and learning from every single one of you but every beginning has its end. Thank you so much for the minutes and seconds we share together in Birkenstock. All the best you guys! 

Bridesmaids Outfit Mission: Failed

Finally a Tuesday that is unlike any other Tuesdays. Cause chilling out with my girls having awesome drinks at a hipster food court and halal subways is considered an exceptional Tuesday.

BIL (aka Brother In Law) was too kind today. Not only did he drive us around JB for our brides maids outfit, he also waited for us and worried for us when we went around shopping. Thank you so much! So we met at 11 a.m and were ready to cross the border to pick Skin up to join the fun.

We had lunch with Skin and lingered around to look for our floral wedding uniform but to no avail. You know that situation when you don't want them, they are everywhere and when you want them, they are no where to be seen? Ah yes, those floral kurungs have created that situation for us. A round of applause. 

So after several failures, these bridesmaids successfully side tracked.

We side tracked to the extend that I am no longer an instant shawl virgin. Loved the material!  

A breezy light feeling and totally modest worthy. I feel so noble and indeed it was a new experience, Masha Allah. (This I will write about it another day) Soon, every beginning has its end. 

But..

here's a funny story. 

We were having a friendly conversation with the Immigration Officer at the Singapore custom when he asked: "So you're going to pick one more after this?" as he looked at Braem. Of course all of us were shocked to hear that and asked how did he know.  Officer: Of course lah... Can marry four what. 

The car broke into laughter as we bid our farewell to the officer and smirk away. No bad ah officer. You know your stuff. That was good. *thumbs up* 

Haha. Goodnight ya'all. 

my (nooby) flight purchase

Selamat Hari Raya!

I'm sorry that I'm not the most dedicated writer. I do enjoy typing my day out but I tend to over think the rants which will be completely irrelevant and a waste of time. My self esteem for writing is really low. Lower than the ground. Dun dun dun.

ANYWAYS.

I am actually freaking out (quietly) right now. This noob here was suppose to purchase her ticket to Auckland this afternoon. But her "funder" (according to Baba) was unreachable that she had to wait til the night falls. Instead of doing it immediately, she delayed it. Of course the flight price when up! So she opt for the cheapest ticket she could get and it was through an agency. It stated that:

"Our staff will endeavor to contact you at the earliest possible time to confirm your reservation before the ticket insurance. For all correspondences, please quote the references number on the right."

I should calm down right instead of quietly panicking at 1:46 a.m. Everything is going to be fine. They don't have your money yet. But still! It when up from SGD$1,053 to SGD$1,061. I need to get them tickets PRONTO!

//  Well here's a lesson for everybody: If you are not sure, wait. Have some patience and ask around. Don't be kiasu or scared cause you're gonna find yourself in a messy situation.

Next problem: How do I sleep without thinking about it? Am I gonna get into trouble? How many sheeps should I  be counting tonight? (groans)

superhuman

I have always appreciate my me-time but I can't do it for a very long time.

While vampires get their energy by sucking on blood, I suck/absorb energy from others. 

Working in the morning was never my thing. I'll groan whine and whimper which gives out negative vibes (which I secretly don't approve but I can't help it) expressing how much I detest it. But today it was different. I pyscho-ed myself. 

"The day will get better.."

Surprisingly it did. 

I had an awesome batch of customers today, who were like friends. I met adorable little kids, the kinds that aren't shy with strangers. Backed up my colleague from a not-so-kind customer after she dissed her. And.....

(to be continued)

back to blogging

Blogging was the bomb back then.
I have always enjoyed blogging or writing back in the days. I was young, I didn't know that writing could be something healthy. Maybe not physically but mentally. Slowly, I drifted apart from my habit of writing.

"Something is not right.."

Years passed by after I stopped writing.
The thing is, I become much more emotionally unstable. I have become more vulgar, much more negative and technically, rude. I was unable to rationale my thoughts and emotions properly.

"What went wrong?"

I asked myself quite regularly. Recently, I met few of my old secondary friends. We talked about how much fun we had back then and how much of a geezer we are today. It was good to finally catch up until he mentioned how much we used to spend our time blogging, creating posts dedicating to each other. I decided to give my old blog a visit and read through the glorious days.

And that was when it hit me. Writing was my soul therapy that I knew, although I'm horrible at it (my English teachers thinks so too). It gave me so much peace back in the days and I knew only words could help me remember the best memories that I've encountered. I found myself laughing and smiling at my younger self. If you used to blog back then, I bet you would have enjoyed it too.

Blogging; your very own time lapse.
From post to post, you'll see how much you have grew and how much you've matured.
The little journey that you drove.

So today, I am going to keep on writing my day, my thoughts and my opinions that has been lingering in my wild mind and share it with the world in hope that you would feel the same way too (or not..) Letting this be a platform for myself to share and know more from others.

Till then..

brainstorm.

I was supose to be writing this, but I am in the zone. Yes, writing can be authentic but its kinda slow for now to feed my "excitement" and speed. (You should check out how many spell checks I have currently)

So I was watching Meet the Robinson, Got 7, Running Man Quiz Battle and My princess drama lately and I am inspired or more likely been thinking about so many things that requires writing it down or else I will be haunt with plenty of excitment. So what has been lingering in my mind?

1. When Louis went back to his future, he saw his inventions and how successful he was, knowing that when he returns back to his past, he had no fear of failing. Keep moving forward~ Keep moving forward~

So I thought that if I could trick my mind and say that I came from the future and see myself being successful, therefore I should not be afraid of failures. In fact I should improve more. Add more knowledge to it, and do more to be better.

>> Dear Shazaa, you need to read more and study more. Divide your time, you can do all. You're not lazy your heartbeat, your eyes and your blood cells are all working. Do today's mission today.

2. My princess is a Korean Cinderella tale. The Diplomat, Park Hae Young, speaks several language. Running man invited few foreigners that speaks fluent korean, french and of course English. I'm always awed with people who speaks fluent multiple language.

So if they can do it, why can't I? I'm on my sem break and I'm youthful. I should make full use of this and woke hard. I want to do this so KAJA! Let's Go! Let's do this!

>> Dear Shazaa, check out wikihow. It shows you how to study language and ace it.
All you need is courage and determination! WORLD DOMINATION!

3. I have always been into media (Currently waiting for a job there, please reply fast!) and fashion. But my friends, who are oh so lovely, keep pointing out "Shazaa! tudung kau pendek.." Well I've seen worse but thats not the point! I should be focusing on me and not others. Why do I dress up nicely? Who am I trying to please? The crowd or Allah? Therefore I NEED TO GET MY ACT RIGHT! WAKE UP GIRL!

I feel like making a video about it. Tudung, fashion, modesty with 5 simple questions and different guests. 5 major deep questions. Hmmmmm..

>> Dear Shazaa, well start drafting then. Why are you here?



OKAY I'M GOING.
I did not check my tenses and grammer here. Mind me.

(x) cause I'm awesome that way. Alhamdulillah.

I'm feeling rather elated today. I smell a brand new, more positive and optimistic energy within me and I hope this will last for a very long time, Insyallah. :D

KL wasn't bad afterall.
After months of complaining, I was doing bad for myself.
Baba was right. "Happiness comes within.." Nobody made IIUM horrible or horrid for me. It has been me all along making it worse and intolerable for myself. I killed myself. But fred not, here I am.
I am giving myself my very own CPR to live once again and to the fullest, Insyallah. :)

Where should I begin?

1. I was greeted warmly by one of the awesomest bunch everrr. Mai, Ain, Syafiq, Rai and Nad picked me from Berjaya Times Square and did their usual weirdom syndrome and we laughed hysterically. Dinner was nice too although we were attacked by a flying lizard. 
2. I skipped most of my classes on Tuesday.
3. I met two of my lecturers and it was good to see them. That happy faces when you only came down to visit and say hi. It gave me that fuzzy feeling. ^^ 
4. Hady was on sight! I miss that mumbo jumbo of fun-ness! He even protected me from Evil Syafiq and his boncetness. 
5. Catch up with Idlan and his stories and Jannah was in convo too! Imagine the wild ideas being shared. 
6. Saw so manyyy people like Yayat, Nani, Sazarin too. 
7. Umar and Nabihan joined me and Jannah for break. As always, we had fun. 
8. Surprise Party for Faizah! (Sabo included) 

Alhamdulillah. :D
I am extremely blessed and grateful for today.

hero

No one said moving on was easy.
No body said that the war with yourself was going to be a smooth sailing.


You were never meant to be permanent.
It was nice getting to know you.

weekend

Was the weekend a mistake?
Are all of these regrets that I knew from the start?
Was everyone else right that this, was a troublemaker from the beginning.

Neither is my heart nor my mind is at ease.
Ever steps matters and every feeling reacts faster than its normal speed.
Everything comes and go. too fast.

Nights,
They make you think. They make you overthink.
All I want is some sleep, please don't make me force myself to bed again by laughing.
Cause it's an agony I can't..



handle.


lots of love,
S.

Nature rewards.

Cause it's blog time! :D

Last week, on the 13th right after my finals we went on a road trip! AHHHHHH! :D Syafiq was kind enough to be a daddy and drove us to Cameron Highlands, Pahang. Brothers and Sisters, EMBRACE THE AWESOMENESS OF NATURE! Masyallah! Subhanallah and Allahuakbar! 

IT WAS THE PRETTIEST PLACE TO PLAY OMBAK RINDU REWIND! 

They got a nice view to play tea party, a breezy weather to pretend you're in Switzerland or New Zealand and you can do all sorts of distressing activities there. You name it! I did strawberry plucking, picking? Then I check out butterflies and eek-ed on inserts and frogs, I screamed using my diaphragm on a mountain. (ooooooh~) Dance alone at an open space, laughed at and with my friends and had a mini roller coaster ride. It was a mini innocent party for this clan! It was a pity that we had to rely on phone cameras and only to phone cams. AWWWW! 

Alhamdulillah for the opportunity. So here you go.. PICTURES! :D 

lots of love, 

S. 

Jinnyboy tv.

I know it's sappy and cheesy, but hey you need cheesy and sappy in life to be thrilled and exciting.

Hahaha. Self Theory: Fail. :D

Watching Conversation over Coffee makes me feel all softy inside cause it feel so close to dreaming.
Being in a cafe, hoping something to happen.

hopelessly anticipating.

lots of love,

S.

"Toffee is Coffee with a T"

An official week of 2014. 

Welcome new year. 

I just had an amazing lunch with some of my awesome bunch. It has been nearly a month since I last see them. There wasn't much of catching up but more of appreciation of each other's existence. I love that the fact that all of us are different in our own way but yet we compliment each other. 

Meet the Regime people. 

Here's the story of us: 

All of us were what they call fresh meat or greenies for theatre, but we had good chemistry and bond with each other. Even our seniors were shocked to see "No Drama" during the whole training. Slowly, we developed a strong bond and got to know each other and slowly have each other's back. Our dinners and lunch were always filled with good and happy times and when someone is sad, we'll do something to work it out. Whatever it is, when I'm with them I feel so.. real. So Me. 

but maybe we're still new, still in the process of knowing each other. 

I hope for a good future with these companies Insyallah. I'll still pray for them no matter what cause they've helped me (alot) during my stay here.

Coming up next:
A trip to Cameron Highs Insyallah. :D

Lots of love,
S. 

slight effort is better than no effort.

Alhamdulillah, I'm grateful that I have roommates who  have been very supporting and motivating in so many ways. They will ensure my rough and lonely time here is colored with joy, care and mutual concern and love. We are all away from our families, stranded in a new environment still struggling, still coping and still finding. 

I thought my first few months will be tough but with finals around, it got tougher. 

I am merely giving up. 

But I choose not to. Cause giving up is a sign of weakness and I will not admit defeat and weak. This place had done enough trashing my confidence and making me lose my touch of who I am or who I thought I was. It has done good in new realization but I struggle. It's okay, I know I'll be appreciative of this institution and send my gratitude for teaching me hardship and struggle. 

As for now, all I can do is remain positive and held my head high up. 

Learn from mistake, work on it and don't repeat it. 

Or else, fool on you Shazaa. 

lots of love, 

S. 

welcome back!

It has been a long time since I've took my time to write.
Who am I kidding, I got time only I'm not making full use of it. I'm either real busy, distracted or mopping around watching videos. I'm tellin ya, media is killing me. Big time!
Haha, but it's okay cause only death can slap you awake right?

There's so many things to tell, so many feelings to rant. But there's this virus called the lazy-rus that is "keeping down" my pace. Well enough with the negativity.

Here's some light up!

My university friends have been lovely and rather supporting. I haven't had the best first semester. There's plenty of struggles going on and I've been rather messy. But they have always been there 24 hours for me and I'm telling you, TWENTY FOUR HOURS. Call, text them anytime, any day and there will always be there to give our a hearing aid. So as for now, my friends are my university highlights. I love you guys, thanks for always having my back! :)

That is all for now.

lots of love,
Shazaa.

because writing isn't my forte

Back in Singapore again! This time round, I guess I spent it wisely. :)

The week before was chaotic. 2 Mid terms and things just doesn't seem to fall into places. But Alhamdulillah, I have always believe that patience is time. You have to slowly hang in there and keep going no matter how long you are going to be. The point is, you make an effort and the result will based on what you have put into it. I've been having wrong intentions with my studying but sincerity never comes easy. Apparently, you still need to work hard for it.

Apart from my tulang belakangsss, Regime theatre band have been a great help letting myself loose and forget about worrying and thinking straight. Sometimes you just need to let yourself go, set your wings and fly. Honey, it ain't that easy that I expected. Makes me wanna take up yoga for future purposes. 23 more days til show time!

Tulang belakangs (a.k.a Nurul' Ain Nabilah and Humairah Jays) have been lovely during my uni stays. Always there for lunch, always there to lend some hearing aid, always there to offer academic, physical and spiritual aid when needed. I couldn't thank them enough for always being there. Syukran Ya Allah for sending them over as a wasilah for me to be closer to you and always remind me of you. I am a weak servant of yours, I need to always remember that and be aware of them.

Saying Special Hi *waves* to Syir, Faatinah, Najiiiiib and Naziz for always accompanying me around to study and just appearing alot lately these days! Hahah.